Day Three:

Day 3: Your First Love

I've amended this entry due to the simple fact that love, current and past, is oh so complicated. That being said, I will comment on the idea of first love. I think first love, for many, is a confusing term. I would say that I had romantic feelings towards people starting back in high school but I'm not sure that was love. I thought it was, but now looking back at the many reincarnations of love and having seen the capacity for love that my heart is capable of, I wouldn't be so sure as to putting that label of "first love" on that time in my life. I know those whom I have loved, for they still reside in my heart, some taking up more space than others. They will stay there forever and that's why love is complicated and complex. Does that mean that my heart is too full and the amount of love I am capable of now is somehow diminished? Not in the least. It is hard on me though, and maybe that's why the older I get, the more emotional I become over things. It's just that the chords of my heart-strings have been so finely tuned that now I feel the pangs of love and love lost at any nostalgic reference that presents itself. So it makes me that girl who is sniffling through the movie, or the ballet, or the song. Oh well. Isn't that what makes life richer and fuller?

"It's better to feel pain then nothing at all, the opposite of love's indifference"-Lumineers 

 

So as to the topic of first love, I'd just like to state that each of these loves of my life have contributed to who I am today and I will keep them with me always. They've had a special impact on my life, and yes, at times I truly miss having them with me, but a universal truth to life is that everything, at some point, comes to an end. Same is true with every relationship. So you have to go on knowing how they have added to the richness of your soul and thanking the universe for putting them in your life for that moment in time.

That’s the beauty of looking back at your past relationships- you realize that, though they may not have worked out in the end, each one made you into the person you are now, and hopefully you are better off because of their contributions. You come into each relationship like a piece of clay, and these people you’ve trusted with your doughy self, they add to, or rearrange, or bend, or dent, or straighten, or mold you in a different way, each time making you more defined and whole.