Today there was another school shooting.
I’m sure everyone will be talking about this story for quite some time and there will be ideas and emotions circulating around the world wide news and blogosphere for days and weeks to come… but I do feel the need to just write and get all these feelings off my chest. Since there is no one in the office today and my husband is on a flight, I have this as a means of digesting this horrible information.
I taught Kindergarten for two years at a public school in Houston. It was one of the best times of my life and a career I cannot wait to go back to. Every day those kiddos taught me to experience the world with a fresh outlook, with wonderment, with excitement, with joy. If I was having a bad day, it inevitably was put into a different perspective the minute that group of 5 year olds walked through the door. They had the power to uplift me because they were so untainted by the vicious world we live in. They were still blessed to be in this wonderful bubble of childhood and they exuded so much hope, just by being so young and new to life. Possibilities abounded. I loved sitting in front of them and starting our day with a story or a song. I loved the hilarious comments or questions I would get, and the seriousness in which they asked these hilarious questions. I have a journal full of funny quotes and comments made by my 5 year olds that helped entertain me and provided me with so much joy.
These were my 5-year-old kids. This was my class. I don't have children of my own, but for those 8 hours out of the day, Monday through Friday, these were my babies. I cannot even begin to imagine something happening to them like what happened at the shooting in Connecticut earlier today. It makes me feel like crying out. It makes me sick to my stomach.
It also makes me consider, if I feel this way imagining the kids in my classroom - whom I loved dearly, but who also went home each night to their own family- I cannot even begin to fathom the pain and suffering a parent would feel about their own precious baby in this situation. It’s unthinkable. Such innocence, such joy, being extinguished and for no apparent reason other than one person’s own selfish motive. Whether it was brought on by mental illness or neglect or abuse, no matter. It’s a tragic and unnecessary loss of life- precious, untainted, hopeful life. Where once stood a peaceful, non-violent, hope-filled community, now stands a town filled with terror, with sorrow, hope extinguished. An open wound in our nation. A gaping hole in our hearts.
Thus the inevitable cycle continues. One man who may have felt tormented his whole life growing up, whether tormented by his own mind or by his treatment by others, now inflicts a new torment on those he terrorized this day. How do you think they are going to deal with this for the rest of their lives, those that survived? Do you think an elementary school child -one whose mind is so fresh, and new, and impressionable- do you think they are going to come out of this experience the same? They’ve entered into this vicious world, the world we try to shield them from for as long as possible. The veil has been lifted unnecessarily too soon and the little beacon of hope, that little light of innocence has disappeared.
How can our society move forward towards a better future when this cycle is spinning out of control? At some point we have to break the cycle and create a new one –a circle of positivity and of hope and of paying it forward and of treating our neighbors with kindness and fairness. Once we start a new cycle we can’t be doomed to repeat time and time again the same mistakes because we’ve left that circle of terror and hatred and revenge and we’ve progressed towards something better.
I know I sound like an ever hopeful, flower-power, all-we-need-is-love hippie dippy type, but it really is that cliché and simple. It takes all of us, but it starts with just one of us. Just do good and be right and help when help is needed and give kindness and forgiveness when it is needed. This shooter, like many before him, gave warning signs, albeit perhaps not the most obvious of warning signs. This shooter grew up, apparently, different from the rest. Ostracized, by his own fault or by the neglect of others. This, still, is no excuse for what has happened and what is going on in our country. This situation seems like one that may have been difficult, if not impossible, to prevent. But, we have to consider everything we can do to try and prevent this because this, a devestating fourth mass shooting in one year, a massacre inflicted upon the most innconcent and defenseless among us, our women and children in schools...this is intolerable. We have to think about what has led to this and how we can step out of this awful cycle. What could we have done differently? Someone had to have seen that things were not right. Where does a person go to report harmless suspicions that I'm sure these warning signs appeared to be? How does one respect the rights of the individual, while also protecting our families and loved ones from those individuals who happen to snap one day.
I'm sure we'll begin to learn more about the details of this situation leading up to this incident, and as we do, I hope we begin to take notes on cause and effect.
What is happening to these people to create this kind of reaction to life?
Obviously there are many things to discuss…gun control being one of them. (Something that NO ONE seems to want to deal with but, seriously…let’s put politics aside and DO something. That doesn't necessarily mean taking away everyone's second amendment right to guns, but it can have something to do with making it more difficult to purchase a gun. We jump through hoops to fly now-a-days, but everyone is okay with it if it keeps us safer- why should it be different for the purchasing of guns?)
Another issue is how we value life. How we respect life and the lives of others. Not just in our neighborhoods and cities and states, and not just within the US, but the lives of every human on this earth. We come from a culture that turns a blind eye to the violence that we inflict upon other nations. Children have died at the hands of our military in the name of freedom or democracy. Is it any surprise that we have created a culture where we do this to our own?
I know I don’t have a great platform from which to propose the solutions, and my voice is just one little voice amongst millions, but I’d like to know that I’ve at least put these thoughts and ideas into the universe in the hopes that someone, somewhere can take these ideas to heart.
My own heart aches for these people. I think we all feel that pain, in some form or another, and we all feel so desperate to try and help. We are a problem solving people and this -this awful tragedy that seems to have no motive and no reason, just a senseless act of pure rage and violence- this goes beyond our ability to comprehend and to rationalize. We have no way of seeking justice, no way of seeking revenge, no way of finding glory or honor or purpose to their death, just mournful, tearful, heartbreaking loss. Deep, deep, pit of your soul loss. These are angels and their death cannot be in vain. We have to take this as a last straw. We have to start making some changes.
Be well and do good. Pray for these families. If you’re not religious, put them in your thoughts. Above all, be kind and be gracious to your neighbor. I think we all could use a hug right now.
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